there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think weed is turning my hair brown
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
