I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..