id be glad to
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize