walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
