glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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