theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
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I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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