trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
