Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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