5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....