i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!