what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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