She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
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It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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