What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
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He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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