do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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