i just google imaged poop.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
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Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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