why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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