and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
