Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
