what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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