omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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