Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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