O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
