I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
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