Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i think i just lost a toe
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
