i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
