Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize