ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
