I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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