I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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