My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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