What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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