Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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