It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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