I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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