I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
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Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
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Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times