sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost