when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video