Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize