I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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