Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016