the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!