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• (917): View more from New York City

  I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."

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• (409): View more from Texas

  Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (002): View more from

  There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING

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• (530): View more from California

  I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Not in jail

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Alive?

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