i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
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she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
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She's just so happy...and so naked.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS