I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.