Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

you guys were way drunker than both of me

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(503): View more from Oregon

can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?

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(720): View more from Colorado

So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.

(970): View more from Colorado

well, dont

(720): View more from Colorado

I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.

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(905): View more from Toronto

found the other keg... it's in the tree

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(380): View more from Ohio

She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned

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(210): View more from Texas

he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again

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(585): View more from New York

we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.

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