it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The air taste purple.
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