Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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