dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
as a side note pls kill me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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