you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
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Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months