Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.