moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck