I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
