if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
