hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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