im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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