Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
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Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday