Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .