i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...