I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard