i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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