I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
