I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
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dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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