Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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