called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
