just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
